Beloved Son – My Son

That Notification – Death of a Loved One

You see it happen all the time in television shows where the police department sends a couple of officers to the home of a former addict. They knock on the door and wait for someone to answer, knowing that the news they have to tell is going to be despairing for the recipient.

Mmm… that news was delivered to me on Monday, May 30th, 2022 – This Memorial Day.

My son was found deceased in his home by a friend of his that would routinely check on him to make sure that he got up in time to check in with the Boss to see if there was work for the day.

Photo by Mauru00edcio Eugu00eanio on

Bob found Chris in his living room chair. He had passed some time in the early morning hours. They are not sure of the cause of death. They suspect Fentanyl is to blame.

What is even sadder is that Chris had been doing so well. He had been seeking medical assistance for mental health to combat his drug addiction. He was so proud that he was taking all the right steps for the first time in his life. He had been regaining his life back. Making plans. Working on improving his health even more. Enjoying his line of work as a concrete wall technician.

He was traveling. Visiting places that he had never seen before. Saw his first alligator in Florida. Found a bunch of seals basking on the shores of Nantucket.

Then came the friends. Friends from the past saw how good he was doing. Maybe they were curious at first, maybe they were becoming jealous that he was doing so well and not feeling miserable anymore.

They said, hey Chris, let’s hang out sometime. We haven’t seen each other in so long. Buddy – Ol’ Pal.

Sure –

So, he met with them for a few drinks at a couple of local bars Sunday night before Memorial Day.

Alcohol is not an addict’s friend. It causes them to forget why they were feeling so good about themselves.

One of those so-called old friends convinced my son to use it one last time. He will never use it again because he is GONE!

I am so filled with grief. We never planned for this day. Worst of all, Funeral services are so expensive. The funeral home needs everything to be paid upfront and they give you a deadline of less than a week to come up with the money. Not 30 days, not even 7 days.

I was going to settle for just the cremation service which is $3,500 but now my daughter is requesting a short wake so that she can lay eyes on her brother for one last time. She saw him 7 years ago.

I started a Go-Fund-Me to help raise funds for Funeral Services, but we are still far from our goal of $6000. I am distraught and full of grief.

It feels like my heart is being torn from my chest. This is a mother’s worst nightmare!

I hate having to ask for help but every bit adds up to help us reach our goal so that we can put Chris to rest and say our goodbyes and pay our respects.

Could you please help us, even with a small donation?

My beloved son Chris



Going to Happy Places

Finding That Happy Place:

This past week I got to observe my son while he found that happy place that he had lost so many years ago. It made me want to giggle inside to see the boy that I once knew reappear before my eyes. He was cheerful, excited and so full of life.

You see; my son is an addict. This is a huge deal for an addict to find their happy place. It lowers their need to use to acquire the same feeling. And when they do use to find that feeling, their outward results are not the same. They exhibit false excitement. Their excitement is caused by their drug usage as an after effect/side effect of using that particular substance. It is not real.

And when it comes to be full of life, they become tired and sleep their life away. This is also an after effect/side effect of using the substance.

His happy place was rediscovering his love for fishing. He was always pretty good at setting the hook in his younger years. Once again he had no problem setting that hook to catch his first largemouth bass in over five years. That’s right! It has been a good five years since he went fishing. One can’t fish while sitting in jail or rehab.








The fish my son caught.

Seeing him happy reminded me of how I once found my happy place. I remember it well. It was when a friend/past co-worker made a VHS tape of some home movies of mine that I had not been able to watch in years. You know those old 8mm tapes that have gone the way of the dinosaur. They held all the happy times in my life when I had no cares or worries and was able to dance away, not caring about what others thought. The innocence of a five year old child is a cherished moment.


Coming Events:

Talk about excited and happy moments!

Next weekend I will be going to my very first RWA Conference. Granted it is not the main event, just a chapter event, but the same, I’m going to a conference. Can you tell I’m excited?

The New England Chapter of RWA is holding their annual Conference, and I decided to attend it. I can’t wait to meet these girls. I’m looking forward to their workshops they have scheduled.

Then the following weekend I will be going to the Workshop my own chapter has planned. It is a Deb Dixon Workshop.

We will see if the workshop lives up to its name, A Book in a Day. I will be spending that following Monday at home trying out her techniques.


ROW 80 Check-in:

It has been a while since I have checked in.

The writing has still been going slow. In the past two weeks, I have managed to add no more than 3k words to the next Orgarlan Book. I also have two other works that I have been dabbling with, one of which is my little story on Wattpad.

Sleeping on the Beach is a panstered story – unless I break down and plot the thing out, I really don’t know where the story is going or what it is about, except that the main character is having a bad bout with insomnia. It appears that sleepwalking is the result of her insomnia.

Oh, I just had an ah-ha moment. I know what to do with the story next. I won’t tell you – you’ll have to read the next chapter. (lol)

The third story I have been plunkering with I won’t tell you anything about it. I don’t want to get your hopes up. Not yet anyways. Right now it is just a junk story. (Is plunkering a word? It is now. I just made it up. I just Binged it, and it is a word. J )


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