Just when the chicks fly from the nest, there’s always that one that comes back home to roost. That one would be my son. He’s been living at home for the past three years. Maybe someday he’ll find a girl and make his own roost.
That’s right, I thought I was an empty nester several years ago, then the recession hit and he was in trouble. After spending a year in a residential rehab, he came home to live with us. He hadn’t lived with me since he was twelve. Those in-between years were spent living in his father’s house. I can’t say that had anything to do with his getting into trouble or needing to go to rehab. Nowadays, they would say, it happens, no matter what.
For those of you who have stumbled across my blog for the very first time, my name is Linda. I’ve been writing and blogging since 2008. I got my start at blogging on MySpace, that was back when MySpace was a space for everyone, not just music lovers.
When they changed the site, I had to go somewhere else. I think that was about the same time that WordPress started up. Though I didn’t quite know what I was doing when I first started out. The only thing I knew was that I needed to write and share my experiences with other parents of addicts.
There I said it. I’m a mother of an addict. That is the hardest thing a parent has to admit. From here on out, once the status is accepted, it gets easier to talk about to other people. I think when you learn that you’re not alone in the world, by being a parent of an addict, you get over the stigma. This is one of the most important steps in the recovery process. When our addict can’t embarrass us anymore, we can grow stronger by leaps and bounds.
If you don’t have an addict in your life, then you’re lucky. They don’t have to be family either. The person only needs to be within your daily life Circle to qualify as having them in your life. Once they are in your circle, the drama and chaos are there. Then you only need to arm yourself with a decision to either cut them out of your life or grow stronger. Which will it be?
I chose to grow stronger. I may have let go of some things in my life to allow him to stay. Things like behaviors and attitudes can make a world of difference. Only you can decide what you need to let go of to make the necessary adjustment. Like the need to have expensive things. Are you afraid of them selling your items? How about stealing cash? Do you still keep cash on hand?
Those were the first few things I let go of. I don’t keep them so I can’t lose them. I only have what I need and learned to accept that it is enough. I learned to make myself happy and not wait on other people to comfort me. By putting my well being first, I hadn’t been disappointed, especially when I lowered my expectations of others, and kept my expectations of self in check. We tend to be the hardest on ourselves. Learn to say – Good enough. If it isn’t, you can always go and try again to make improvements.
Every year I try to make improvements to myself. Once again, I’m working on my blogging skills. I hope you will follow me through the year as I plunge through 2016. We can talk about our addicts, or what it’s like to be a parent of an addict. If you’re a writer that writes Young Adult or New Adult, we can talk about topics that are relevant to the development of our youth. I don’t know it all, your input would be greatly appreciated. Sometimes I feel out of touch with today’s youth now that my daughter left home and has a daughter of her own.
Did you lose a loved one to addiction? I would love to hear your story. If you don’t want to keep a blog, you can send me your article to post and share with others. Sharing helps us heal.
I’m hoping to keep my posts flowing throughout the year. I do hit dead zones from time to time. I think we all do. It is high time that I publish another book too, which I will as soon as I finish refilling my well. My Orgarlan Saga is starting to bubble. It is only a matter of time before I have to spill the words across the white screen for the next and most likely last book of the series. I want to move toward stand-alone stories. Maybe continue a series with stand alone, I’m not sure. There will be another contemporary story too. It is only a matter of when.
I’m probably as shy as you are, so there is no need to worry about what you post. I’d be happy with a simple hello. Maybe we will get acquainted. It is such a good feeling knowing you’re not alone in a world filled with addiction.
Linda Nelson 