Linda Nelson

Image courtesy of creative commons license By: Nathan – CC BY 2.0via Flickr.com

I don’t know about you, but my parents fit into the category of different hopes for my brother and me. My brother was supposed to go to college, but he didn’t. I was meant to have an office job, but I didn’t do that either. Does that mean we were both disappointments?

What do I mean by that?

Parents stereotype their children right from birth. Stereotyping must be a learned behavior. Everyone grows up expecting girls to be mothers, nurses, and such. The boys go off to war, start a business, or are exceptionally bright. Girls are not supposed to be bright or so I was told by my parents when I was in eighth grade.

I grew up with television shows such as Leave It to Beaver, where the Beaver learns to be nice to girls. There were Happy Days with the cool Fonzie or Laverne and Shirley who were factory workers. Do you see the stereotyping taking place?

It has only been in the past ten years that some shows, movies, and books have begun breaking the stereotyping mold. Hunger Games has the independent, quick thinking Katniss as the main character pulled into a leadership role.

Then there is Meredith Grey of Grey’s Anatomy, a portrayal of a successful woman surgeon. And, don’t forget Arial the mermaid who saves the prince.

Image courtesy of creative commons license By: Stefany – CC BY 2.0 via flickr.com

I’m a parent. I get the stereotyping. I can catch myself time and again expect either my son or my daughter to be a certain way. Everyone expects their daughter to be pretty and their son strong and smart. In actuality, I wanted my son to be intelligent, strong and handsome and the same for my daughter.

Maybe it is because when my parent made that statement to me, it upset me terribly. That was the year that I failed English of all classes to fail just to test their reaction to my getting an F on my report card. Why I decided to do this, I don’t remember. Maybe I felt left out some way. But then they gave me that very answer, shocking the hell out of me. I wasn’t grounded, nor punished, nor did they yell at me. They only said, that’s okay, girls aren’t supposed to do good in school.

I think this made me angrier than had I been punished. This remark my parents made only told me that neither of them cared about my future. Maybe I was supposed to be a stay at home mom when I grew up. Funny, they never mentioned prearranged marriages.

For the last four college terms, I have been having fun shocking my mother with my grades. Her jaw dropped when I handed her my first Dean’s Letter, and when I gave her my Honor Society certificate, she just about broke down in tears and hugged me harder than she’d ever hugged me before. Maybe she remembered her words and wished she had never said them to me. I don’t know.

I don’t know how my dad would have reacted. I think he would be proud too. He passed away over fifteen years ago.

When I think of my children, I hope for them and try not to stereotype them on purpose. I would love to see both of them have equal opportunities. I know that each is unique in their way. In the end, I can only hope for the best for each of them. No matter what they do, I am proud to call them my children.

Image courtesy of creative commons license By: Carissa Rogers – CC BY 2.0 via flickr.com

Emails, text messages, notifications, tweets, voice mail, it goes on and on, and the messages pile up unopened. Anyway, who uses voice mail these days, every message is a text instead. I don’t think we have used our answering machine in years. Many people no longer use landline phones. They have become attached to their smartphones.

The last time we used an answering machine, a local politician running for Governor left a half-hour message on the machine, taking up all the space. No one else could leave a message even if there were an emergency.

Me? I don’t like phones in general. No offense meant. It’s been years since I would spend endless hours talking to a friend on the phone. Yes, there was a time when I would be on the phone with a friend for more than an hour. All my friends had to be local numbers, or I wasn’t allowed to call them. Those long distance charges from years ago could tick off an unsuspecting parent.

People will text each other for the silliest of reasons. Did you watch Survivor last night? No, did you really need to text me to ask if I watched the show?

If you were following a recipe and couldn’t read the ingredient I had written on that paper, well that is a different situation. I wouldn’t mind responding.

Sometimes I do respond to Facebook and Twitter posts. Facebook can be iffy at times. Words are not always clearly written, and messages can be misunderstood and twisted in the most bizarre ways. Auto correct on a Smart Phone doesn’t help matters either. Talk about twisting your words and making matters worse.

The older generation does not understand the new manners of texting, posting and tweeting. Many times they will add salutations at the end of the post or message not knowing that this is usually done with an email or letter. When we receive posts on our Facebook boards, the person posting is announced by their profile name and picture. There is no need to say love your Grandma at the end of the post or instant message. We know who you are.

The younger generation needs to learn some manners when it comes to answering their older peers and family members. Yes, Grandma is expecting a thank you for the gift or birthday card she sent to you last week. This isn’t just because she has been waiting for you to show respect and gratitude for the thought, it is to notify them that you did receive the item in the mail. If you don’t tell them, then they will worry, believing that it became lost somehow or maybe even stolen. Think about common courtesy and follow through on your end and everyone will be happy.

There have been times where I messaged my daughter in the past, and she misinterpreted what I was trying to say. A time when the instant message was the new form of communicating. Things can be said in a message that can so easily be misunderstood or taken the wrong way because we can’t see the facial expressions behind the message. There is no telling if the message was said as a form of sarcasm or was supposed to be a personal joke. What did they mean by that remark?

Text messages and instant messages have to be carefully worded to be confident the receiver is not taking what is being said the wrong way. A great rule of thumb is if you can’t be clear in the written message you would be best to either phone the person and speak to them or better yet, talk to them in person.

I would prefer a visit from a friend or family member any day over a text message.

How about you?